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I'm jenny 18 slytherin i hate everything except my boyfriend and guard ok
Posted on 5th Jul at 8:28 PM, with 529,608 notes
My visit to get screened for cancer:
Nurse: "Sorry your boyfriend couldn't wait for you in the waiting room, it makes women feel uncomfortable."
Me: "He wasn't my boyfriend and I don't see how it would make them uncomfortable, but that's my opinion. He was here for moral support. I understood, and so does he."
Nurse: "So he's your...."
Me: "Friend."
Nurse: (During the question asking) "How many sexual partners have you had?"
Me: "11."
Nurse: "How old were you when you first became sexually active?"
Me: "....Loaded question but....14, I guess."
Nurse: "You're sexually active, then."
Me: "Well....I guess...but..."
Nurse: "How many times have you been pregnant?"
Me: "Uh. 0."
Nurse: "O...kayy...-Checks 'condoms' as my preferred use of birth control-"
Me: "I don't use condoms. Or take birth control."
Nurse: "Then how do you avoid getting pregnant?"
Me: "With homosexuality."
Nurse:
Me:
Nurse:
Me: "I fuck girls."
Posted on 5th Jul at 8:00 PM, with 6,980 notes
americanloueh:

Guys this should be going around - if anyone knows anything, please contact her
View high resolution

americanloueh:

Guys this should be going around - if anyone knows anything, please contact her

Posted on 1st Jul at 11:02 PM, with 50,966 notes

ladyhistory:

ladyhistory:

WOULD THE PERSON WHO JUST SET OFF A DAMN FIREWORK IN MY NEIGHBOR KINDLY CONTAIN YOUR EFFERVESCENT PATRIOTISM UNTIL FRIDAY WHEN THE REST OF THE COUNTRY VOLUNTARILY BLOWS SHIT UP

I’M GOING TO CORRECT THAT TO BE “NEIGHBORHOOD

PEOPLE ARE NOT SETTING OFF FIREWORKS IN THEIR NEIGHBORS

THAT IS MURDER

Posted on 1st Jul at 6:11 PM, with 342,710 notes

adrians:

German guy confused by the meaning of “Party Pooper”.

Posted on 1st Jul at 6:09 PM, with 177,971 notes

tylerchokely:

I want 6 minutes of this not 6 seconds

Posted on 1st Jul at 6:08 PM, with 1 note

miichala:

USA GET YOUR HEADS OUT OF YOUR ASSES AND INTO THE GAME

Posted on 1st Jul at 6:08 PM, with 428,814 notes

burgrs:

my mom is telling me “get a good job” but my heart is telling me “marry rich”

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